People have vastly different ideas about what happiness means. For some, it’s material abundance; for others, it’s the warmth of family. Given our diverse backgrounds and life circumstances, it’s nearly impossible to define a single universal path to happiness.
Since 2006, TED Talks have gradually gained global popularity. In 2018, Li Kaifu shared a particularly insightful talk online about the common traits of happy lives. The speaker was Dr. Robert Waldinger, a psychiatrist at Harvard Medical School and a practicing psychoanalyst. Though the topic sounds abstract, Dr. Waldinger backed his points with solid research data.
From the 1980s through the early 21st century, Harvard researchers repeatedly asked young participants the same question: “What do you need most right now?”
Eighty percent chose wealth. About half said fame was their top priority.
Dr. Waldinger also quoted Mark Twain:
“The worst things in my life never actually happened.”
This quote captures a profound truth: it’s never too late to find happiness—and before tomorrow arrives, nothing can truly be called “the worst.”
But Harvard’s most revealing insights come from an even longer study—one that spanned 75 years. Researchers followed 724 men throughout their lives, tracking their choices, relationships, and well-being. Today, only around 60 of the original participants are still alive. To deepen their understanding, scientists expanded the study to include their children and grandchildren.
The first group consisted of Harvard undergraduates in the 1930s—many of whom later became successful professionals, business leaders, or even U.S. senators and presidents.
The second group came from Boston’s impoverished neighborhoods. Most remained in low-income, physically demanding jobs their entire lives, with little room for upward mobility.
At first glance, the contrast seems to suggest that success and privilege lead to happiness. But the data told a different story.
The key finding?
Good relationships—not wealth, fame, or achievement—are what keep us happier and healthier over the long run. Whether you’re rich or poor, educated or not, the quality of your close relationships is the strongest predictor of long-term well-being.
This aligns with the rise of positive psychology in the early 2000s. Pioneered by psychologist Martin Seligman in his foundational work Introduction to Positive Psychology, this field shifted focus from treating mental illness to scientifically studying what makes life worth living. Seligman emphasized that cultivating a positive mindset doesn’t just enhance personal fulfillment—it also unlocks human potential and benefits society as a whole.
Positive psychology also recognizes that our understanding of happiness evolves across life stages. But one principle remains constant: to live happily, we must first clarify our values, choose meaningful goals, and nurture genuine connections.
After all, humans are social creatures. We thrive not in isolation, but within supportive communities. When our relationships provide security, trust, and mutual care, they become the bedrock of a fulfilling life.
In essence, true happiness isn’t found in accumulation—but in simplification. It emerges when we let go of distractions, focus on what truly matters, and invest deeply in the people who walk beside us.